I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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