We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
handjob tips. give me some.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
