I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
