Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
