This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
