So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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