are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He? As in you personified your dick?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
