Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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