I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just pee around me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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