she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize