i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
