walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The struggles of a small town man whore
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
