Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Mom said you looked used
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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