I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
