I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
