WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
