I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
