# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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