Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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