i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize