He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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