he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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