I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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