But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
