Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
