For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
