There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
