Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
