Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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