I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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