: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
