The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
