Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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