Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
