tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
