It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
