For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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