i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize