i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
