My nipple is on Facebook.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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