My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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