So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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