you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
