i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
