what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
