he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
