yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
no. you can't hotbox the world.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
