im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
