At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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