found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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