just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
