Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
