he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
