the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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