How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
