Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize