Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
