the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
