the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
