What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
