White coat. Heels.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
