my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
