Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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