there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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