eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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