You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
