imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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