I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
