I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
