Barsexuality is the new black.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
