mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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