I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize