You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize