you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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