"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
