i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Randomize
