You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
